


Tales from the Tower: Avengers Anecdotes Series 1

by TheScientificMage



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Sitcom, Slice of Life, ill add more characters as they come up, im not good at tagging yet, im sure there'll be some of it, of sorts, some other genres
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 17:05:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1752227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheScientificMage/pseuds/TheScientificMage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers have moved in to the newly named Avengers tower! There is no possible way, shape or form that this can end well.</p><p>Also, this will play fast and loose with MCU canon, but please let me know if there is something flagrantly wrong or contradictory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tales from the Tower: Avengers Anecdotes Series 1

S.H.I.E.L.D. Files Level 8 – Report AV0042N

** DO NOT PROCEED WITHOUT PROPER AUTHORITY **

Submitted by [REDACTED] on the date of [REDACTED]

_The aftermath of the battle with the Chitauri Army and the relocation of the team known as the Avengers, with current known status of each individual_

Tony Stark had many sides to his personality unseen by the media and his friends and coworkers. One of these happened to be a soft spot roughly the size of Jupiter in his heart for misfits and loners, which is probably why he offered to let Dr. Bruce Banner live in Stark Tower within a couple hours after meeting him.

“Whoa. I think we just hit the jackpot.”

Dr. Banner still wasn’t familiar enough with Mr. Stark to be sure if the offer was sincere or not, considering that he’d met a few other people in the past who’d make such an offer and forget it five minutes later. When Mr. Stark looked around at the remains of the lounge Loki and the Hulk had destroyed and remarked that he might as well Hulk-proof it when he rebuilt, Dr. Banner began to feel that Mr. Stark really meant his offer. As such, when the dust had settled, debriefing had been finished, and the last crumbs of shwarma consumed, Dr. Banner felt much more comfortable accepting Mr. Stark’s offer of a place to stay, packed his few possessions, and was settled in his own floor in the tower within a week. Not that he spent a lot of time there – he wandered into the labs the day after he moved in and was extremely startled when JARVIS asked if Doctor Banner would care to be directed to a kitchen, since he had not eaten for the last fourteen hours.

Captain Rogers, perhaps unsurprisingly, took a lot more convincing. Still uncertain around Howard Stark’s son, he declined Mr. Stark’s initial offer to live in the Tower and returned to his S.H.I.E.L.D.-owned apartment after the battle with the Chitauri. When Mr. Stark turned up a few days later for a visit, Captain Rogers was so startled by Mr. Stark’s anger over the ‘poky, tiny, hole-in-the-wall excuse-for-a-closet living space’ that he moved into the Tower without further protest, if only to calm Mr. Stark down. Captain Rogers wasn’t convinced he wanted to stay all that long in such an ostentatious building, but the large amount of carefully picked vintage 1940’s furniture helped to convince him, as did the fully outfitted gym on his floor with top-quality equipment.

“To be fair, I do actually have closets larger than that apartment. And I’ve seen S.H.I.E.L.D.’s budget, and they could definitely afford something better than that.”

Thor’s settling in the Tower was nearly inevitable, as when Asgard decided to make the thunder god their first ambassador to Earth, the various world governments nearly fell over themselves to have him settled under the same roof as Iron Man and Captain America. Mr. Stark was only too happy to deck out one of the higher floors with wood-paneled walls and a staircase directly to the roof. The various governments were just as happy to have avoided the difficulties of accommodating an Asgardian embassy, or the inevitable repair costs for furniture as Thor tried to adjust to Midgardian-strength doors and furnishings.

“I might be starting to regret that. How does someone destroy four doors in one day?”

“[indistinct]”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time!”

Following the day when Agent Romanoff turned up at the front door with a suitcase and a look daring anyone to challenge her right to stay,

“I’ve seen Red do her thing. Like I’d try and stop her. I’m reckless, not crazy. Blueberry?”

 Dr. Banner wandered into the main kitchen to make some tea and found Agent Barton trying desperately to figure out how to work Mr. Stark’s much-too-complicated stove in an attempt to have some scrambled eggs. The good doctor kindly told him that Mr. Stark had yet to realize that no one could actually use the stove, and recommended he manage with the microwave until Stark could be bothered to stock more normal appliances in the kitchen. Agent Barton thanked him, and during breakfast they were joined by Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff in the middle of an animated discussion about baseball and the current state of the Dodgers.

Life continued on realatively peacefully. The newly named Avengers Tower stayed standing and (mostly) undamaged, local restaurants had a spike in business with the increased number of paparazzi, and the S.H.I.E.L.D. betting pool on how long it would take until New York was damaged beyond repair thrived. It was a peace that was too good to last.

“It was too good to last. Of course it was too good to last. You think you can smack six people with issues and the abilities to do serious damage into a confined space and not have something go horribly wrong?”

“Really, who wrote this thing? Looks like Shield’s security is actually better than its report regulations. Seriously, ‘size of Jupiter? I think I’ll puke. What was that, Bruce?”

“[indistinct]”

“Oh yeah, like Jarvis would only remind you fourteen hours after you’d been in the lab. Or like Thor would break any doors by accident. Didn’t know Shield had Cap’s old apartment bugged that well, though. What is this, terrible fanfiction? I’m surprised they got anything right at all, with the fibs Red and Legolas told them. Oh, I can’t wait to edit this and hope Fury reads it.”

“Wait, Jarvis, why are you typing all this? I didn’t tell you to take dictation yet.”

“What do you mean you wanted to record my initial reaction? I’ll give you an initial reaction, you-“

_End of file_

Nick Fury leaned back in his chair, sighed, and shook his head.

“Sometimes I wonder why any of New York is still standing,” he remarked.

“Yep,” Maria Hill agreed, working on her latest Rubix Cube.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my first work, here on AO3! I hope you enjoyed, and I hope to improve it if I can! 
> 
> I welcome any and all constructive criticism and suggestions.


End file.
